You Are Starting Not to Matter

I decided not to go to Bone Fish Grill this year to "celebrate".  I think it's because you are starting not to matter to me anymore. This is a good thing... until someone reminds me of you.

Closed Doors to Greener Pastures

Once again it is that time of year when I remember your invitation to the past.  While I still have violently conflicting thoughts about you, I do think back to this and remember all the very happy times that followed. That I am still thinking about you surprises even me.  With what was the easy disposability of our relationship by you only serves me a reminder that maybe closed doors should remain closed.  Even if it has a window to greener pastures.


I am only resolved to accepting this because I have to but I still love you quite dearly.

Return

Today I saw this and I saw my greatest wish. To see you across from me, to hold your hand, to look in your eyes... would make me whole again.

I miss you. Most ardently.

Perspective.

"Death has nothing with going away. The sun sets. The moon sets. They are not gone." - Rumi

Perhaps this is how I must look at this.